Day 12: Whisper

Sometimes I joke about talking to God and wanting Him to answer me with a sign in the form of a billboard saying ‘Yes’ or ‘Kelvin, proceed’, or something similar where the answer to my prayers is more definite.  I would say in the past couple of years I have prayed more than I have in years past and I often feel they are left unanswered.  Tonight, something happened and I may have been looking in all the wrong places and formats.

Tonight was North Point Community Church’s 15 years celebration service.  Andy Stanley introduced a guest speaker, Bill Hybels and told the story of how it was Bill’s church Willow Creek being the model for which North Point Community Church and its sister churches are formed from.  Bill talked about how God speaks to us through whispers, much like He talked to Samuel in the middle of the night in 1 Samuel 3.  This was my light bulb moment.

For the past 4 weeks my life has taken a turn, I have made a number of changes that I can’t tell you where they came from but I know it was as if someone told me to do it.  A whisper if you will.  The most recent whisper was to watch the online streaming of the service.  I didn’t find out about the celebration service until about an hour before service time after I had exercised and walked the dogs.  I was trying to decide what to cook for dinner and when to cook dinner when I saw a tweet from Andy Stanley about the service.  At first, I thought that’s great, 15 years is a major milestone and I am happy for them, what to do about dinner.  Then I had this urge to start preparing for dinner and I can eat and watch the first 30 minutes before turning away to watch The Big Bang Theory at 8pm.  That is one of my favorite shows.  I figure this is a great plan, so I thought.  I am so glad I watched and stayed for the entire service.  I think God talked to me through the whisper and wanted me to experience the service.  I also had a phone call I needed to make at 9pm that was cancelled which meant I could continue watching the service.

About 4 weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon, I had just gotten home from a taekwondo demo team practice and there was nothing to watch on tv except the U.S. Open.  I am a fan of tennis but not watching it on tv but I figure nothing was on and I am just resting my legs a bit after having just gotten home.  But I kept focusing on how in shape the players were.  A whisper (or voice if you will) suggested I start getting back to an exercise routine that was not martial arts, I am not that out of shape to begin with but I can stand to lose a few lbs (depending on which medical site you read about a person’s ideal weight, there seems to be so many different answers for my body type but that’s another story for another day).  So that day I decided to change my diet (being a vegetarian or vegan or organic foods, etc) and start running again.  Ever since I am running about 5 days a week, can’t run everyday cause it is bad for you and your muscles need to rest and heal.  I feel great eating more veggies and fruits, craving kiwis and tomatoes all the time.  I also decided to get back to regular reading of the Bible.  So far, I am feeling great and had to make a few changes to my diet due to losing weight too fast in a short period of time (about 10 lbs in two weeks) and got dizzy on two separate days due to not eating enough protein I think.  I was trying to cut out meat completely but that may need to be a gradual change.  I am already no pork or beef.  Well, beef every few months if I crave a good hamburger or steak.

Last week, a thought came into my head of going to Starbucks and treating myself to a drink as well as doing my ARK (Act of Random Kindness) and paying for the driver behind me.  I love doing this and I decided long ago that I would not do this on a regular basis but instead when the moment hits me.  I had thought this would be Fridays cause it is Happy Friday and my way of making that person’s day.  But this time it was Wednesday when I woke up with the thought of going to Starbucks on my way to work.  Crazy I thought, not my routine I said to myself.  The urge to do this was strong, I even got up early that day and I thought God wanted me to cause I woke up early so I can get ready in time.  But I fought the urge and did not.  This bothered me a lot at work and on Thursday.  Something told me that I should have done it and it was starting to make its way onto my regrets in life list, which is pretty major.  So Friday came around and I woke up early again.  We are not talking maybe 10 minutes early but like an hour early.  Even beat the alarm clock.  I knew what I had to do and was nervous about it.  Why I get nervous, I don’t know but I do.  Fast forward to the drive-thru, I’m there ordering my drink and at first no car was behind me.  I felt disappointed but I knew this was Starbucks and a car will show up soon, it is Friday after all.  Then there it was, the front bumper of a car.  I was getting excited at this point, and then I saw the hood.  … it was a police car.  How fitting to treat a police officer, they put their life on the line for us and this is the least that I can do.  As I waited to reach the window I watch the officer and I thought I saw what appeared to be a teenage boy combing his hair.  My first thought was, somebody stole a police car and drove it to Starbucks to get a coffee and now I am going to reward him for stealing a car with free coffee.  How wonderful, I thought about not following through but then I remembered it was God that pushed me to do this and if He wants me to reward the kid for stealing a car then so be it.  Thy will be done, right?  As I got a better look at the officer, it was not a kid but a female officer with short hair.  What a relief and at the same time if she found out what I thought she would be mad for me thinking she looked like a teenage boy with a bad haircut.  I was happy it was not a boy who stole a police car.  I am happy I followed through with the ARK.  The few other times I have done this I did not find out if the driver behind me was male or female.  I want it to be a mystery, don’t know the drink, don’t know the car they drove, try to ignore the amount.  Just a random gesture.

Rewind back in time almost two months, I was praying to God for I was about to make a big life changing decision and wanted a sign if I should proceed.  He did not respond in the way I was looking for but now I know He responded.  A couple of things happened and I felt the time for me to do what I wanted was not then, there are still a few tasks I need to complete but when the time is right He will let me know.  I know not to be looking for the big billboard saying ‘hey Kelvin, now’ but rather listen for a whisper and what it is telling me.

There are more than plenty of times when I have not listened to that whisper in my head.  A phone call He urged me to make to check in with a friend, a particular place to go, a particular thing to do, are just a few examples.

Bill told us a few stories of a few whispers said to him.  I hope they are in his book  “The Power of a Whisper: Hearing God, Having the Guts to Respond” which can’t reach my mailbox fast enough.  I have many more stories of whispers that happened to me recently which I can share but the point is God is communicating with me and I just need to listen.  We live in a busy society, too often we don’t due to being too busy or not having our antennas up.  I am guilty of this and will work extra hard to be observant and to listen to the voices in my head telling me to do something that is out of my routine or comfort zone.