Kelvin Ling

All things Kelvin

Posts Tagged ‘Rules

Rule 15: Perception is not reality

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During an annual performance review one year, my boss started describing how I wasn’t doing my job or how I wasn’t doing the things he would be doing if he was still a developer. The list went on and on. I countered each one of his items and it was apparent he didn’t do his research.

I really wanted to tell him it was hard for him to see for himself when he didn’t leave his nice corner office. The only thing he said was ‘perception is reality’ and it was my fault for not telling him or showing him all the things I was doing. I am not one to brag or announce the things I am doing to the entire company. It didn’t matter if I had proof and his insisted his perception was what mattered. He also wasn’t going to change his perception in light of new information.

I have always hated the ‘perception is reality’ saying and think it is an easy way out for not doing your homework. Years later I would promise myself if I am in a position of leadership I would never ever use this saying. I would take the time and investigate info the matter fully before forming an opinion.

 

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Written by Kelvin

August 14, 2014 at 9:06 AM

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Rule 13: Wait at least 6 months before updating resume

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I don’t remember why I have this rule, it may be because there was a time I wanted to be private about changing jobs to keep a certain former employer from being nosey rosie.  Granted I don’t live that exciting of a life, they most likely did not care and this was just all in my head.

This rule is now about respecting the former employer and myself.  To give each party the time to heal any wounds and to make peace with the separation.  I have always felt work is like a relationship, as long as the employment is beneficial to both parties it is ok to continue the relationship but once it no longer benefits a party it is wise to move on.  With a few exceptions this has been the case during my career.

Written by Kelvin

March 28, 2013 at 9:06 PM

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Rule 12: Guests to My Home Are Not Allowed To Do Dishes

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If you are my guest, you are not allowed to do the dishes.  Regardless of who prepared dinner. Granted if I am a guest in your home you can bet I am going to do the dishes even if I made dinner.

Written by Kelvin

March 28, 2013 at 8:53 PM

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Rule 11: No cutting through parking spaces

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This rule is pretty simple and I have seen so many drivers do it.  In a parking lot, I can’t drive through parking spaces to get across the lot.  I have to drive in the designated driving lanes and not across parking spots.

This rule is more, it is just dangerous because people don’t pay attention and you never know what may happen if you cut across the lot.

Written by Kelvin

June 5, 2011 at 10:33 PM

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Rule 10: Communist countries are off-limits to travel

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I would like to travel to China, walk the Great Wall of China or go see the pandas or the Terracotta Army.  But I have a rule of not travel to countries whose government is communism.  Maybe it is after watching Locked Up Abroad but I worry about doing something that might be considered a crime in a country whose legal system is questionable.

A while back there was this American kid in Singapore who got in trouble for chewing gum.  It is not like I am going to travel to communist countries to commit crimes but I would rather not go to jail for something that might be considered a non-issue back home.

Better safe than sorry because I am too pretty for jail.

Written by Kelvin

June 5, 2011 at 10:04 PM

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Rule 9: Categorize people I know

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I put people I know into friendship categories and based on this category is my interaction with said person.  I would do anything and everything I can legally to help out a friend but the degree of help is not all the same.

There is the top category, let’s call it Category A, and if you are in this category and you call me at 3am I will pick up the phone.  But if you are in the bottom category, let’s call it Category Z, and you call me at 3am, I probably won’t answer the phone.  Another way to look at the category is if you are in Category A and we discuss plans for Happy Hour, even if I don’t feel like going, I will keep the plan.  But if you are in Category Z and we make Happy Hour plans, I am likely to flake out on you because I need my alone time, it just depends on what kind of day or week I have had.

The higher category a person is in, the more of an effort I will put forth to keep up social protocol like if you ask me how I am doing, I will say more than the social convention of ‘I am fine, how are you’ or if you ask me what I did this past weekend, I will tell you what I actually did instead of ‘nothing’ or ‘ran errands’.

I am always adjusting this internal category listing.  So how many people is in this top category, not many.  I can count them in one hand and right now that number is 2 and maybe 3, presently re-evaluating this third person.

Why do I have the need to categorize people I know?  Well, it is to protect myself.  I find myself always wanting to fix a problem or help out a person.  This is not always a good idea because people lie.  I do this so I won’t feel too bad for not helping you.  I can say to myself since you have wronged me in the past then ‘no, I will not lend you money’ or ‘no, I won’t do that for you’ or ‘no, I can’t make lunch today’ or when you tell me you have a problem my answer will be ‘uh-oh’ even if I have the solution.

Written by Kelvin

February 20, 2011 at 10:17 PM

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Rule 8: Eat out once a week per meal type

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This rule came about for two reasons: 1) needed to save money cause eating out is expensive 2) lose weight.  I have this rule where I give myself an allowance to eat out once a week per meal type, which means I can eat out once for breakfast, once for lunch, and once for dinner.  I typically save it towards the end of the week as a way to celebrate the fact the weekend is here but there are just days when I need comfort food or need something more exciting than the chicken sandwich I pack for myself for lunch.

In 1996-1997 while I was working for IBM there was a Chick-fil-a nearby that I and a few coworkers frequent quite often each week.  It wasn’t long before I realized I was gaining weight faster than I can keep it off.  Not to mention the cost of each Value Meal #1, Value size with a coke equal $5.15 added up quick.

So, this rule helps me maintain a healthy weight and decent wallet.  I also find it better if I keep my lunch light otherwise nap time comes calling in the afternoons.

There may be times when it is necessary to eat out more than once in that week and it will be a case-by-case if eating out will count towards my allowance.  These could be working lunches or client meetings or dates.

Written by Kelvin

February 20, 2011 at 6:27 PM

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