Kelvin Ling

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Archive for January 2011

Rule 5: Always have ice cream or Popsicle

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During the summer, always have popsicle in the freezer and non of that fat free, sugar free, 0 calories stuff that tastes like feet.  I am talking the artificial flavor, juice flavor kind that you know you need to walk a few extra laps around your kitchen after enjoying one.

During the winter, it can be ice cream or popsicle.  Ideally one should stock both for days when you need some comfort food.

There is something about popsicles that makes me feel like a kid again with no worries in life.  The best part about ice cream is that it can be consumed for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  It is part of a well balanced meal.  I often reach for the ice cream first before alcohol after a stressful day.

It is ok to substitute sherbet for ice cream but can’t do it too often.  Best is to mix so you don’t get tired of ice cream.

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Written by Kelvin

January 27, 2011 at 1:12 PM

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Rule 3: Go home after midnight or Go to sleep after midnight

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This rule is very similar to the rule mentioned during Season 1 of ‘How I Met Your Mother’ where Ted should have gone home after 2am but instead went to Robin’s apartment.  I have found it to be mostly true that nothing good can happen after 2am.  When it is getting very late, it is often better to just go home and go to bed instead of still being out and about.

When you are in your 20s, it is probably ok for the cutoff to be 2am but as you get older, that cutoff gets earlier.  So in your 30s, it should be midnight.  In your 40s, it should be 10pm or 11pm.  You get the picture.

While I have not tested this rule too often, the few times I have stayed out past 2am I can say for sure that the next morning I wished I hadn’t stayed out that late.  This rule only applies if you are out, doesn’t apply if you are home talking to a female friend and you have talked to her since 8 or 9pm.  Those conversations where time flies are far too rare and if you find yourself having one, stay on the phone.  Make a cup of coffee if you have to and cherish the conversation.  Trust me, you will not have many of them.

This rule could also be expanded to ‘Go to sleep after midnight’.  Cause if you are home with nothing to do and you find yourself looking for things to do, well … that is just trouble.  Go to sleep and save yourself the trouble of wondering what on earth made you buy that item or look up people on Facebook or finding out things you really wish you hadn’t look up in the first place.

Nothing good can come from staying past your bedtime.

Written by Kelvin

January 13, 2011 at 10:03 PM

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Rule 2: Women in relationships are off-limit

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This rule is a cross between commandment 7: You shall not commit adultery and commandment 10: You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.  It’s a bit hard to explain but I don’t want to be cheated on and I don’t want other guys to be cheated on so women who are in a relationship is off-limits.  I can make conversations with them but can’t hit on them or ask them out on a date.

Even if the woman makes the first move, her actions are irrelevant nor any amount of money.  Now if we are talking a million billion trillion gazillion dollars then maybe I will consider it if the girl is right.  Even if my life depended on it I would like to think my willpower is strong enough.  I pray I will not be put to this test.  It doesn’t matter how hot this girl is, she can be a super model and wouldn’t make a difference.  We can be the last 3 person on earth and I would not change my mind.

A relationship is difficult enough, there is no need to add more variables such as sneaking around or coordinating schedules so days x-y-z are mine and a-b-c is for the other person.  Then you have to worry about what if you are being followed cause the other dude is suspecting or where you can and can’t go.  Too many factors to consider.  Besides, if I have found a great girl, I wouldn’t want to share her time.

If the girl is already in a relationship and I am fighting for her time, it normally does not end up well for the new dude.  Why put yourself through all this drama and be rejected and be broken-hearted in the end.  If I am supposed to date this girl it will happen when she is not already in a relationship.

Written by Kelvin

January 9, 2011 at 5:01 PM

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Rule 1: No long distance relationships

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There are two caveats to this rule:

1) If the relationship (or friendship) is already established, it may be ok for long distance to occur for a short period of time.  Take for example, one party is being relocated by work while relocation plans are being finalized.

2) Short local distance may be ok such as a one or two hours of flight time, cross country might be possible, see 1) from above.

This rule is more for international long distance, if you don’t know each party and is occurring at the start of the friendship.

Take for example, my parents want to introduce me to women, as they put it, my grandmother is not getting younger and wants to see me get married and have kids.  I contend my niece and nephew from my older sister is enough.

There are many problems with long distance relationships, especially international and at the start of a friendship.  For one, it doesn’t work.  Sure, you can skype or email or call but what do you do on a Friday night after a long day of work and you just want to go to happy hour or to a restaurant and have a drink.  Do you really want to hold up your iPhone and Facetime with the girl with one hold while trying to hold a margarita glass with the other?  Not to mention the time difference, she has to wake up at 5am her time so it can be 5pm my time and buzz kill meeting someone for the first time with bed hair.

With long distance, you can’t be spontaneous, too many factors to consider, can’t just reach out and call someone and make plans to meet at Starbucks or a restaurant for brunch.

So to save myself from the stress and hassle , I have this rule.

Written by Kelvin

January 9, 2011 at 12:43 PM

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Rules, oh so many rules

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My life is governed by rules I have made up along the way that is supposed to prevent me from doing things I would otherwise regret or suffer from a broken heart.  So many in fact that I can always recall what they are but just know I have one.

Someone suggested I should write down my rules so today starts my attempt to list my rules and explain why I have that particular rule.  Some will not make sense, some may offend the reader, some are obvious.  Not all are unique and is from other sources like the Bible.

The rules will not be in any particular order, I will write them down as I think of them or encounter a situation requiring a rule.  The first few will deal with relationships.  Every time I talk to my parents the ‘relationship’ topic is near the top of things my parents ask me about so they come easily to my mind.

Written by Kelvin

January 8, 2011 at 5:34 PM

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Day 13: Leap of Faith

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so I jumped … There will come a time in a person’s life when you should experience a leap of faith event.  This is easier when you are young and gets harder to do as you journey in life.  For example, when you are 21 and just graduated from college it is easier to take a leap of faith and backpack through Europe instead of getting a job, if financially doable.  When you are 35 and married with kids, it is much harder to just quit job and pack up family to go traveling through Europe.

Today is my leap of faith.  Today was my last day at a great company and come Monday I step into the risky and unknown yet promising future.  I have known for some time now that my world was going to be shaken up in a big way and it is all part of God’s plan for me.  Let me back up.

In one of Andy Stanley’s recent sermons he talked about God’s plan for us, how we should pray for God to reveal His plan and how we should be good stewards of our current circumstances for we are where we are because of God’s plan and when the time is right God will reveal the next step.   So this got me praying and thinking, every time I read an article about someone taking an idea they have had and turning it into a start-up, I ask myself why can’t that be me or when am I going to do such a thing.  Granted I don’t have ideas like Facebook, Twitter, or Groupon I like to think I can and the things I desire so much can and will happen.

Ideas can happen anywhere and can be anything, most of the time it is because a person wants to improve on something happening in their daily life.  It got me thinking into what would make my life easier, is there something I do regularly that could be made simpler.  If something could benefit me surely it can also benefit another.  While nothing concrete came of this it did get the wheels turning in my brain and how I needed the flexibility to research and develop my ideas.  To do so at the employer at the time would have been difficult.

Through another event which I will share in another day, I realized it was time to start this leap from something comfortable to the not so comfortable.  In short, I was talking with an individual who is further along in the journey with God than I said you should take a leap of faith and just do it.  Much like the Nike slogan.  Two things clicked in my mind: 1) our paths crossed not for the reason I thought and 2) yes, you are right.  I should take a leap of faith.

If you know me you will know I am not one to take leaps of any kind.  I need to know where my next paycheck is coming from.  I have left my previous jobs after lining up another one.   This time is slightly different and I am calm because I believe this is God’s plan for me and now is the right time to make such a leap.  Regardless of the outcome I would be ok and things will work out.

I have asked God to show me signs or talk to me and confirm this is the right thing to do.  And signs I saw which gives me peace about the decision I will soon be making.  Normally, fortune cookies are just a cookie with a piece of paper in it.  I like to think they will come true but when you have gotten plenty of ones that said you will meet someone soon and nothing happens, you kind of give up on the idea that fortune cookies will predict the future.

Anytime you want to quit a job you ask yourself how will you pay bills and feed yourself.  I have moneys in savings but would rather not touch them so I prayed for God to help me in this category so I can be self-employed while still able to pay bills and eat.  Not soon after, I got a package in the mail I took as a sign I may be on the right path.  I have always had interest in finance, especially stocks and the package was the Investor’s Business Daily‘s Home Study Program, Level 1.  I am a reader of IBD, have wanted to attend their courses if it came to Atlanta but have skipped the last few.  So this was a surprise and the material made sense so I thought I could trade stocks as a way to have income.  So possible source of income, check.  I also thought I could find contract web developer positions to help make ends meet, so another possible source of income, check.  Things starting to look more doable as I work out the various scenarios and what-ifs in my head.

The second confirming sign from God was on a Thursday during lunch some weeks ago.  I decided not to go to lunch with coworkers and just eat my sandwich but at the last minute I decided to go to the cafe in the office complex and try out their tofu stir-fry.  Saw a vegetarian coworker eat it a couple of days ago and it looked like it was delicious.  The fortune cookie from this meal said I would be changing jobs in the next month.  I laughed it off as a coincidence but the timing was definitely something to seriously think about.  Days went by then came christmas eve.

Sign 3, Buckhead Church’s Christmas Eve 2010 services were at 4pm and 6pm.  I had invited a buddy of mine from high school and we decided to go to the 4pm service.  Or so we thought.  We made good time from my house to the general area but traffic was bad that afternoon and we were going to be late to the 4pm service so we decided to go get some chinese food and attend the 6pm service instead.  Long story short as we discussed that chinese food, Jesus, and Christmas eve go together like peas and carrots, my fortune cookie from this meal said I would be successful at home and in a new business next year.  As we drove to the chinese restaurant we joked God wanted us to attend the 6pm service and we should keep our eyes open for the reason, it didn’t come to me at first but days after this event I realized God used the fortune cookie to tell me to make the leap.  I could be wrong but I don’t remember anything else happening that afternoon that would be why we ran into traffic and why we went to the 6pm service.   Thinking about the fortune cookie brought me peace I don’t normally feel when contemplating a change in employer especially one as unknown as this.

There were also little signs I have noticed.  The quick timing of it was due to things happening at work that suggested it was time.  Interests from contacts I have reached out to and leads are promising. I am optimistic about my future.

There could not be more unknowns and risks in this new chapter of my life but I could not be more optimistic.  All because I feel God is in my life and will be with me through it all.  I am very at peace with my decision to take this leap of faith.  I know God will be with me every step of the way and I pray He will keep my eyes open and guide me at each step.

Written by Kelvin

January 7, 2011 at 6:37 PM

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