Kelvin Ling

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Archive for January 2011

Rule 5: Always have ice cream or Popsicle

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During the summer, always have popsicle in the freezer and non of that fat free, sugar free, 0 calories stuff that tastes like feet.  I am talking the artificial flavor, juice flavor kind that you know you need to walk a few extra laps around your kitchen after enjoying one.

During the winter, it can be ice cream or popsicle.  Ideally one should stock both for days when you need some comfort food.

There is something about popsicles that makes me feel like a kid again with no worries in life.  The best part about ice cream is that it can be consumed for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  It is part of a well balanced meal.  I often reach for the ice cream first before alcohol after a stressful day.

It is ok to substitute sherbet for ice cream but can’t do it too often.  Best is to mix so you don’t get tired of ice cream.

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January 27, 2011 at 1:12 PM

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Rule 3: Go home after midnight or Go to sleep after midnight

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This rule is very similar to the rule mentioned during Season 1 of ‘How I Met Your Mother’ where Ted should have gone home after 2am but instead went to Robin’s apartment.  I have found it to be mostly true that nothing good can happen after 2am.  When it is getting very late, it is often better to just go home and go to bed instead of still being out and about.

When you are in your 20s, it is probably ok for the cutoff to be 2am but as you get older, that cutoff gets earlier.  So in your 30s, it should be midnight.  In your 40s, it should be 10pm or 11pm.  You get the picture.

While I have not tested this rule too often, the few times I have stayed out past 2am I can say for sure that the next morning I wished I hadn’t stayed out that late.  This rule only applies if you are out, doesn’t apply if you are home talking to a female friend and you have talked to her since 8 or 9pm.  Those conversations where time flies are far too rare and if you find yourself having one, stay on the phone.  Make a cup of coffee if you have to and cherish the conversation.  Trust me, you will not have many of them.

This rule could also be expanded to ‘Go to sleep after midnight’.  Cause if you are home with nothing to do and you find yourself looking for things to do, well … that is just trouble.  Go to sleep and save yourself the trouble of wondering what on earth made you buy that item or look up people on Facebook or finding out things you really wish you hadn’t look up in the first place.

Nothing good can come from staying past your bedtime.

Written by Kelvin

January 13, 2011 at 10:03 PM

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Rule 2: Women in relationships are off-limit

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This rule is a cross between commandment 7: You shall not commit adultery and commandment 10: You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.  It’s a bit hard to explain but I don’t want to be cheated on and I don’t want other guys to be cheated on so women who are in a relationship is off-limits.  I can make conversations with them but can’t hit on them or ask them out on a date.

Even if the woman makes the first move, her actions are irrelevant nor any amount of money.  Now if we are talking a million billion trillion gazillion dollars then maybe I will consider it if the girl is right.  Even if my life depended on it I would like to think my willpower is strong enough.  I pray I will not be put to this test.  It doesn’t matter how hot this girl is, she can be a super model and wouldn’t make a difference.  We can be the last 3 person on earth and I would not change my mind.

A relationship is difficult enough, there is no need to add more variables such as sneaking around or coordinating schedules so days x-y-z are mine and a-b-c is for the other person.  Then you have to worry about what if you are being followed cause the other dude is suspecting or where you can and can’t go.  Too many factors to consider.  Besides, if I have found a great girl, I wouldn’t want to share her time.

If the girl is already in a relationship and I am fighting for her time, it normally does not end up well for the new dude.  Why put yourself through all this drama and be rejected and be broken-hearted in the end.  If I am supposed to date this girl it will happen when she is not already in a relationship.

Written by Kelvin

January 9, 2011 at 5:01 PM

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Rule 1: No long distance relationships

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There are two caveats to this rule:

1) If the relationship (or friendship) is already established, it may be ok for long distance to occur for a short period of time.  Take for example, one party is being relocated by work while relocation plans are being finalized.

2) Short local distance may be ok such as a one or two hours of flight time, cross country might be possible, see 1) from above.

This rule is more for international long distance, if you don’t know each party and is occurring at the start of the friendship.

Take for example, my parents want to introduce me to women, as they put it, my grandmother is not getting younger and wants to see me get married and have kids.  I contend my niece and nephew from my older sister is enough.

There are many problems with long distance relationships, especially international and at the start of a friendship.  For one, it doesn’t work.  Sure, you can skype or email or call but what do you do on a Friday night after a long day of work and you just want to go to happy hour or to a restaurant and have a drink.  Do you really want to hold up your iPhone and Facetime with the girl with one hold while trying to hold a margarita glass with the other?  Not to mention the time difference, she has to wake up at 5am her time so it can be 5pm my time and buzz kill meeting someone for the first time with bed hair.

With long distance, you can’t be spontaneous, too many factors to consider, can’t just reach out and call someone and make plans to meet at Starbucks or a restaurant for brunch.

So to save myself from the stress and hassle , I have this rule.

Written by Kelvin

January 9, 2011 at 12:43 PM

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Rules, oh so many rules

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My life is governed by rules I have made up along the way that is supposed to prevent me from doing things I would otherwise regret or suffer from a broken heart.  So many in fact that I can always recall what they are but just know I have one.

Someone suggested I should write down my rules so today starts my attempt to list my rules and explain why I have that particular rule.  Some will not make sense, some may offend the reader, some are obvious.  Not all are unique and is from other sources like the Bible.

The rules will not be in any particular order, I will write them down as I think of them or encounter a situation requiring a rule.  The first few will deal with relationships.  Every time I talk to my parents the ‘relationship’ topic is near the top of things my parents ask me about so they come easily to my mind.

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January 8, 2011 at 5:34 PM

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